It's been a while

Well it's been a year since I last posted on this blog and my how time has flown. So much has changed. 2012 was most certainly the year for change and the year that I decided to start paying myself some attention. I wanted to give myself a break from blogging but I never thought i'd stay away for this long. I was going to start blogging again in the new year but I felt like I wanted to write. Reflect on the year that was and share some of my stories but I really don't know where to start. My boys have grown up so much this last year and I can honestly say that i'm a different person, a changed person. My new years resolution last year was to change my life. Sounds very broad but I really have changed my life. Not only am I now a healthier and happier person but I can truly say I never want to go back to the person I used to be. My attitude towards life has changed completely. Not just have I changed physically but I feel like i've truly found myself this year. I've done a lot of soul searching and reflecting on my 32 years on this earth and re-evaluated everything. But the best part is I have realised that you need to embrace change and never stop changing and re-evaluating your life. It's so easy to get caught in the rut of life and all that it entails. So easily we become stagnant and take things for granted. The last two years of pain, heartache and confusion has been worth every bit of the blood, sweat and tears so that I can finally feel gratitude. I am grateful for my life. Grateful for my gorgeous boys, grateful for my amazing family and beautiful friends. Grateful for the things I have, even though they are merely that, things. I am grateful for my health and to be pain free. I am grateful to wake up every morning and have all that I could want in life and be satisfied with the small things. Because in the big scheme of things it's the small things that count most. Cooper is 6 1/2 now and just finished year 1. I can't believe my first born is going in to year 2 next year. Surely i'm not old enough to have a grade 2'er. He's had the most amazing year of school. He did so well with all his reports and had the lovliest teacher i've ever come across. We love Miss Hall and she certainly has a soft spot for my gorgeous boy. My big boy is turning in to such a delight. He's so kind and loving and so enthusiastic for life. He's the best big brother and most adorable little friend. I'm so proud of him.

Blake turned 4 in September and is going in to pre-prep next year. How did that happen? My crazy, loud, adventurous and beautiful little baby is 4. He still drives me crazy every day but my gosh does he bring me so much joy. He's the most loving and sweetest little man. He's the first one to tell me I look beautiful or notice if i've had my hair coloured or had a manicure. He's full of compliments. Then five minutes later he's stirring up his big brother and driving me batty. He's loving kindy and is well and truly ready for pre-prep next year.

As for me, well i've spent the year getting fit and healthy and changing my entire lifestyle. In February I joined a gym after being so sick and tired of still being in pain after my back surgery and I hated what was looking back at me in the mirror. I knew my weight was holding me back in life and I was so insecure about how I looked. Let alone how it made me feel. I put on about 12kg after having kids and struggled to ever get it back off. I'd lose weight and then slowly go back to old habits and use food and drink as my means to cope with stress and put it all back on again over time. I've yo-yo dieted for years and i've never stuck to any one thing long enough. The difference this year is I made major lifestyle changes. I started clean eating in February, got rid of alcohol almost completely and became quite the gym junky. I've now lost 17kg since February and i'm the lightest i've been in years. I feel so happy inside and out. It's changed the kind of mother I am and the way I look at life is changed forever because i'm finally the happy and positive person I used to be, as apposed to putting it on for the rest of the world. My new lifestyle has forced me to look at my friendships and who I surround myself with. Unfortunately there are friends i've lost along the way but i've also made some amazing friends who support, inspire and encourage me on a daily basis. I have more patience with my kids because i'm not in pain or feeling insecure about my weight. The boys love nothing more than going bike riding with me now while I run along side them. They're definitely my biggest support. I feel so proud of how far i've come in those 10 months and even though I still have a little way to go until I get to exactly where I want to be i'm more motivated than ever. I've got goals and ideas next year of doing mini triathlons and the 10km run at the Gold Coast Marathon. There's also a few hikes I want to do and it feels great to have such a passion again for something. I was reflecting today on how far i've come and this photo reminds me as it's hard when you often focus too much on how far you want to go that you forget where you started. This before photo was taken about 4 weeks after the birth of Blake at my brothers wedding and the after pic was taken last Thursday night at a gala night we had for our gym to celebrate the end of a 12 week challenge. I think there's about a 22kg difference between these two shots. I say I think because the truth is I don't actually know how much I weigh in this photo 4 years ago because I would never have wanted to know. But I know i'm certainly a happier person inside and out now.

I cannot wait to start blogging again properly and sharing stories with everyone again. I've missed this community and i've missed a place where I can come and share my life with family and friends, vent, cry, rejoice and sometimes outright brag about my amazing boys!! I hope everyone has having a stress free lead up to Christmas.

All I want for Christmas

Am I the only one who just 4 weeks out from Christmas still hasn't done a damn thing?

Normally by this time of year I've paid off and picked up toy sale laybys, written a Xmas card list and even made a start on it, purchased a few presents and gift cards, organised gifts for school and kindy teachers and even bought rolls upon rolls of wrapping paper. This year I've done nothing, nadda, diddly squat. And I'm not even that stressed about it. Yes I should be worried, right?

So last night I thought I'd make a start and I put together a Xmas wish list. For me that is. Ahhh dreams are free. I think I might end up having to buy myself at least one thing from this list because I don't think anyone else is going to.

All I want for Christmas is.....

A day at the day spa



Ok I'd settle for a one hour massage


A tropical holiday to somewhere like this


I'd be happy with anything that came in a box that looked like this


Or even something like these pretty Prada babies


I've wanted a white ceramic watch for a while now, just cause


And Santa would definitely know I want one of these beauties as its been on my Xmas wish list for about 7 years now


Every girl needs a Camilla Kaftan, right?


And of course I need somewhere cool to hang out in my gorgeous new kaftan


Whilst posting to my blog on my new MacBook


Do you think it's realistic? Surely Santa knows I've been a good girl this year. Ok well maybe he'll just feel sorry for me as it's been a bloody tough year. Surely going through everything I've been through this year deserves at least one thing from my wish list???

Ahhh dreams are free.

Wordless Wednesday- Tattoo

I'm joining in with My Little Drummer Boys today for Wordless Wednesday. And sharing something I've wanted for ages and finally plucked up the courage to do.

Free to good home

I have a 3 year old boy to give away to a good home, any takers?

He's house trained and sleeps through the night, anyone?

But did I mention that he can throw a massive wobbly with the best of them. And usually throws said wobbly at the best possible times like at school drop off or pick up. Argh who am I kidding he is capable of throwing a tanty at any given time. Especially if I dare utter the word - NO!

My dear sweet 3 year old boy is driving me bonkers and I have not a clue how to handle him. He's so independent which can be great but right now it's sending me cookoo. He is so defiant and his vocabulary consists of lovely words such as no, no and umm no. Oh he does add the odd 'that's stupid' or 'I want to do it all by myself' in just for good measure.

And if I hear 'Oh look at that gorgeous face, he wouldn't behave like that would he' ever again I'll give him away to whoever dare say it. Just so that I can prove them wrong.


Butter wouldn't melt, would it?

Calories are the devil

I just had to share this. Isn't it great? I'm still plodding along at my new eating program. And I'm definitely feeling a lot better for it. I just wish it showed up on the scales. Oh well any loss is a good loss isn't it?

Todays yummy lunch.


I really need to up my protein intake which is hard when I only eat chicken and fish but that's my goal for this week. Lots more tuna and eggs for me.

On a much nicer note check out my gorgeous boy at his first school sports carnival. It was such a nice day and I was so proud of my gorgeous boy.


He came home with two ribbons so he was more than happy. They're now proudly hanging on the fridge.

Photo time

A catch up on our last few weeks adventures in photos.

The weather has been amazing again lately so we've made a trip to the beach. The boys love scooter riding along the esplanade and it was the perfect day for flying the kite too. Just enough wind. We've also been down to the duck park. Enjoyed the baby animal farm at a friends birthday party. Watched a footy game and sunbathed nudey in the back yard. Lucky for you I don't have photographic evidence of that last one.

I just love Spring!!

The D word

I hate the word 'diet' it's just horrible and scary. But at the same time it's time I kick started my new 'health kick'. That's a much nicer way of looking at it. A new lifestyle. The word diet screams temporary. You know, a quick fix. Whereas I want to start a whole new way of living and get back to basics so that I can actually keep it up and have a new body for life. I don't want to be a size 8 it's just not realistic and I know I couldn't keep it up. I just want a strong and healthy body that will keep my back strong and I want to feel great. I want to look at photos of myself and like what I see. So I don't really know if I have a particular goal weight in mind but more so I want to get to a stage where I'm comfortable in my own skin.

I've put about 5kg on since I hurt my back last year and of course not being able to exercise much since my surgeries everything has gone rather floppy and gravity hasn't been nice to me. I hate what I see in the mirror. Anyway right now I'd like to lose at least 10kg but really I think 15kg off would be my ultimate goal.

So I started my new lifestyle, aka 'sexy and skinny by Christmas' regime last Monday and yesterday was my first weigh in. I'm putting it out there on my blog because it makes accountable and helps me with the motivation. And boy do I need that. I saw a photo of me yesterday and it wasn't a pretty sight. I think I'm having a baby. A 'Tim Tam and too much Thai and Indian takeaway on the weekends' baby.

So yesterday I weighed in at 1kg lighter than the previous week. Woohoo!! I'm actually rather impressed considering I had a few slip ups as I had a few social occasions this week including my best friends engagement party on Sunday and I may have had a few drinky poos. Plus my exercise was pretty limited this last week as I was really busy. See the excuses have started already. Anyway slow and steady is the key. It's not a race. In saying that I'd love to be at least 8kg lighter by the time the big fat man comes in December.

So if I'm a little grumpy on my blog in the coming weeks at least now you'll know why. Its because I'm STARVING!!!!!

Party weekend

I'm still in denial that my baby boy is 3. It just doesn't seem real. Blake is turning in to the sweetest little man and although he is all noise and mess he's so loving and affectionate. He adores his big brother. Following him around almost as a permanent attachment to Coopers rear end. And he is such a Mummy's boy and I love it. Cooper is very much his Daddy's boy but I can safely say that Blake is totally in love and infatuated with his Mummy and I just love it. He's forever telling me how 'pretty' and 'cute' I am. 'Oh I love your bootiful dress' he said to me this morning. Love that boy and his delicious kisses and cuddles.

He was so excited about his birthday party last weekend. He had been on the countdown to his birthday since the day after Coopers back in May. It was his first proper party with his friends from Kindy and other play mates. In previous years it's always been family and Coopers friends but he's been at his new Kindy all year and has made some lovely friends of his own. Admittedly most of which are girls. He's a ladies man just like his older brother. Gold help me in the teenage years.

The day finally arrived and boy was he excited. I felt pains of guilt because he wasn't having a big home party that I originally planned but he didn't care. Nothing was going to get this birthday boy down. He loved the idea of having all his little friends come to the playcentre. And secretly I was excited about the idea of walking away from the mess at the end.

My proper camera is out of action so you'll have to excuse the quality as most of these photos were mostly taken on my iPhone.
























And I just had to share these sweet pics from his actual birthday night.






Love you so much sweet 3 year old. You're such a big boy now and yes he's already counting down to his 4th birthday next year. Argghh don't give Mumma a heart attack.

Wordless Wednesday - duck spotting

I'm joining in for Wordless Wednesday over at Faith Hope and a whole lotta Love